Being the Decisive Element

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Sometimes, like when I’m having a pity party, I forget that I’m not a “victim” of life’s circumstances. I forget that there are a lot of perspectives from which I could be viewing my life. Some of them may not be so pleasant, but a whole heck of a lot of them could show my life as pretty darn good. As much as I might be “enjoying” my whine, I can remember that I am, as Goethe calls it, the decisive element in the equation.

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated…

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What is required is a willingness to change a point of view AND, frankly, a bit of patience while developing the skill of shifting perspective. If we’ve been stuck in a rut of negative thinking, listening to “gremlins,” or whatever we may call it, shifting the thinking may take a while. Why? Because this thinking is likely deeply ingrained…much more so than you would ever guess.  And so much so that you probably rarely even notice it…until you’re feeling bummed or blue or out of sorts.  But, in that blueness, you’ve got a great opportunity! You can reclaim your power to make life miserable - or joyous! Or not - and isn’t that a point of power to be able to choose even that? Enjoy your whine when that’s what you’ve chosen!

Where do you want to go this year?

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Most of us view every new year as bringing us an opportunity for a fresh start, so new year’s resolutions are common. But change isn’t always easy - even when we want it and know it’s good for us! Do you know what you want in the coming year?  Have you set some intentions?    Maybe making resolutions isn’t for you, but, if you want to feel successful, it’s important to get a clear idea of where you want to be heading.

If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Lewis Carroll

Jack Canfield writes “In order to get what you want, you must first decide what you want.”  And in his article,  Decide what you want in 2009 lays out some simple steps to getting where you want to go.

We’re living in interesting times… I’m reminded that I’ve heard the Chinese symbol for “crisis” is made up of one for danger and one for opportunity (this may or may not have some validity - check this out).    But back to interesting times…we’re living in them…are we making the most of them?   Where do you want to go this year?

Dealing with the “yeah, buts”

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How often do you sabotage hopes and dreams by using those two words…”yeah, but…” They are dream busters. How can you stay focused on what you most want, with those words buzzing around you like bothersome gnats?

As you become more aware of your “yeah, buts” you can counteract them…by using another “yeah, but…” Think of a situation you’d like to experience - for example, you want to start an interior design business and you’re distracted by a “yeah, but I’m not sure I could make it.” You can turn a yeah, but to your advantage, with “Yeah, but I’m really enthused by working in interior design.” By using another “yeah, but…” it seems to lessen the strength of the first distracting “yeah, but.”

“Yeah, buts” happen. If they’re part of your vocabulary, learn to use ‘em to your advantage.

Living music

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The Music
For sixty years I have been forgetful,
every minute, but not for a second
has this flowing toward me stopped or slowed.
I deserve nothing. Today I recognize
that I am the guest the mystics talk about.
I play this living music for my host.
Everything today is for the host.
- Rumi
What if we lived our lives as though we were the Living Music? Would we be living differently? What would be different?

Remember when…

Filed Under Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone, Success | 2 Comments

Over the last several months, I’ve been enchanted by the idea and experience of “sparkle.”  It sends me back joyous childto being about four or five, when I just loved being myself.  I hadn’t had teachers reprimand me for always wanting to do show and tell.  I hadn’t yet gotten my first (humiliating) birthday spanking in front of my classroom.  Whether or not I did actually sparkle at that age, I don’t know, but what I do know is that when I remember (a full-body remembering) being that age, the feeling that comes over me is a sense of sparkling from within.  And when I feel like I’m sparkling, I am happy, joyous.  I have a sense of being all I need to be.  Like having God’s Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.  And with THAT approval, I’m good to go!

Personally, I love the idea of sparkle and sparkling.  Still being in touch with that young, enthusiastic, joyous part of me is one of my greatest blessings.  I think that anyone who gets in touch with their sparkle is going to be better off forlittle girl sparkling having done so.  Frankly, I can’t quite understand why not everyone relates to “sparkling” or wanting to sparkle, but they don’t.   And I’ve found myself thinking I should  “dim” my sparkle (you know, change the wording, eliminate the word sparkle), to accommodate those who aren’t raving sparkle fans, but my sparkle joy keeps insisting on being experienced.  So, if my deepest self refuses to dim my love of sparkle to appease those who can’t relate to sparkling, I guess I’ll follow that. And for those who do relate to the idea of sparkling…I say let’s set the world ablaze with our sparkle!   

Inquiry

Do you relate to inner sparkle?  In what way or ways? Do you not relate to sparkle?  Why is that?

Photos:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/myblueeyeguy/188576489/

            http://www.flickr.com/photos/beija-flor/5125391/  

Defining Success for Ourselves

Filed Under Authenticity, Joyous Living, Success | 2 Comments

I want to be successful.  When I say that aloud…or write it for the whole world to see, I start to feel a little nauseous.  It seems to have such a negative connotation for me.  But it is the truth – I do want to be successful…just not in the way I think we typically think of success.  And, therein lies the rub.  Defining success.  My mini-Webster’s defines success as 1) a favorable result.  So far, so good.  Yep.  I’m all for favorable results.  The second definition is where I get tripped up – the gaining of wealth, fame, etc.  Not that I don’t want a bit of wealth and a bit of fame, but the idea that “success” is primarily viewed as this second definition.  And because this bothers me so much (like when my sister sniped at me while we were struggling with our parents’ estate – “you just want to be rich!” – oh, yuck!), I’ve been doing some soul searching…yes, I do want to be successful…but what does that MEAN?  One of the most complete definitions for me is: success is loving being myself.  Particularly after a lifetime of self-doubt and recrimination, loving being me, with all my flaws, being able to rejoice in who I am, really is success.  I’m wondering how other people are looking at success nowadays… 

There were some interesting posts at: http://www.linkedin.com/answers/career-education/mentoring/CAR_MEN/77541-3243289 if you’re curious or want some “priming of the pump.”

If the majority of people really took a look at what success meant to them would more of us feel successful?  And if more of us felt successful, how might our world change?  Having looked at my own "redefinition of success" I know I feel more successful and much of my world seems to be responding to the shift.  I like it!