Life with more passion

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Do you want more passion in your life? More joy, more enthusiasm? What do you think is stopping the flow of these in your life?

I’m going to hazard a guess. If your life lacks passion and juice, it’s probably because you’re playing it safe, living in your comfort zone, even if it’s not pleasant. Remember that old saying, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t? We go around thinking, oh, this isn’t great, but “out there” could be worse! So, if you really do want to enjoy your life more, you’re likely going to have to get out of what you perceive as your comfy little world. You have to ask yourself: How comfortable is my comfort zone, really? It may feel safe at one level, but, if you go a little deeper or look from a broader perspective, is your comfort zone really healthfully comfortable? Comfort is great for shoes and waistbands, not so much for the evolution and growth of the soul.

So, we have a choice to stay “safe” or to venture out from our comfort zone. If we choose to venture out, we’re bound to meet resistance early on. In her book, Fearless Living, Rhonda Britten wrote, “Fear is the gatekeeper of your comfort zone.” Fear is going to try to talk you out of leaving your nice, cozy little box, reminding you of all the dangers you’ll face: the missteps, the disapproval, the uncertainty, the discomfort, etc. And some of those may actually happen. We just have to go back to what we want more - perceived comfort or living with more passion.

Do you say “yes” to more passion, more joy in your life? Is there a little part of you wanting to rock the boat a bit? To make some waves? To take a stand for yourself?

Where do you want to start? Where do you feel like the comfort zone just isn’t working any more? Let’s go out and rouse our own rabble! We deserve it!

Fumbling towards inner peace

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Freedom Challenge, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

I found this blog with poetry about love, inner peace, broken hearts…   The author's name wasn't apparent, unfortunately.  Here's a snippet: 

Looking deep within to find that place of peace
Opening up your heart to expose nothing but the truth
Vulnerable feelings flow as you find out more and more
Every day a challenge as another layer removed

Yes, isn't inner peace about love?  Loving yourself.  Coming to grips with who you are…warts and all. Finding out more and more…going back to some of the forgotten and buried places and giving them a good cleaning.  Letting the shame and/or judgments be washed away.  At least that's how it's working for me.  I've finally finished a teacher's internship program and realize there's still a hesitation about going out and being seen.  A mentor has been mentioning for some time that I've some issues around fear hindering my stepping out.  I haven't wanted to "go there."  And now, it may be time.  One of the first "reasons" I face when looking at why I hide:  I do try to be a good person, but I've done a number of things I'm sooo not proud of.  The "really awful ones" were a long time ago, they're over and done with.  Except in my mind and in those places I've allowed shame and judgments about them to fester.  No inner peace is gonna grow in that environment!  Phewww!  Bit by bit, though, letting fresh air and healing energy, love, acceptance in - then that peace, and joy, and love can take root and grow.  

I may not ever LIKE some of my past actions, but the idea that I can let go of the shame and judgments?  Yes, that's a distinct possibility.  Another way of being set free.  Free at last, free at last.  Thank God Almighty, free at last.   I'm imagining I'm hearing Martin Luther King, Jr. speak those words.  Was he the one who spoke them so eloquently?   I've so appreciated hearing about him the last few days.  He is one of those who makes me want to play a bigger "game" than the one I am comfortable with…  May we all take greater stands for what is right, and just, and healthy, and holy and whole.

Your unique expression

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The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and for whatever reason, flipped on the television to the local PBS station. Christiane Northrup was speaking and began to quote famed dancer and choreographer, Martha Graham: “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy , a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others“‘

from The Life and Work of Martha Graham

I’m not certain how Ms. Graham defined “artist,” but the “vitality” and unique expression she spoke of fits many of us - or could! Perhaps it’s because it’s the new year, or that I spent a good portion of my holidays with family members in their 70’s and 80’s, that I am so wanting to take action to bring my own vitality and unique expression into the world and encourage that in others as well.  What happens if we shut our expression off? Are we somehow depriving the world of some very special gift (even if we don’t see that gift as special)? What if we are all pieces of a magnificent puzzle and our “job” here is to be fully ourselves so that we can fill in our part of the puzzle completely. And if we don’t fully blossom, the pieces of the puzzle just don’t fit together the way they were designed to. Or maybe if you shut off your flow of divine inspiration, the person you were meant to feed or nurture or inspire doesn’t get what they need to grow and flourish. Maybe if we don’t keep the channel open, our own inner sparkle doesn’t get what it needs to flourish. And that inner sparkle is, in my opinion, what gives us the joy, enthusiasm, and passion to live a rich, full, peace-filled life. I am excited and enthused about keeping my channel open, fully aware that my passion for promoting “sparkle” is not for everyone. But as my dear friend and coach extraordinaire, Molly Gordon , told me: “Sparkle is your gift and your responsibillity.” It’s a puzzle piece I want to make sure gets plumped up!

Inquiry

What are some of your unique expressions? Do you recognize a “need” to shut them down in the face of “disapproval” or comparisons? What might help you keep your channel open?

Choosing happiness

Filed Under Embracing uncertainty, Joyous Living, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."   Abraham LincolnLincoln

 When I read that quote, I imagine I can hear Mr. Lincoln saying those words in a down-to-earth, folksy manner.  Simple, matter-of-fact, this is how it is.  My heart really warms to it, even though it seems TOO simple.  I think we all want to be happy - I know I do, but making up our minds to be happy and sticking to it doesn't seem so simple.  Or maybe once we've gotten to the habit of feeling negative, it's just harder to make up our minds to change.  I was working with a client this morning who has pretty much determined that life isn't going to go well for her, and sure enough, that seems to be how things are turning out.  I think it takes a lot of fortitude to say "I'm going to change my attitude" when you can't see how to be any other way - and particularly if you don't know HOW to make that change.  I realize it's basically developing a new habit, just made a bit more challenging by the subtlety of the negative "voices" and the depth that they've been ingrained.

The biggest boosts for me have been to be more aware of my negative thinking sooner - and having an experience of feeling and behaving in another way.  Catching myself thinking self-defeating thoughts fairly early on - before they take root - is so beneficial.  For example, if I've just made a mistake, I'm able to catch myself right after the first (or second or third) self-berating thought and actually say something to myself along the lines of "Oh, sweetie, it's just a mistake.  It's okay.  What can we do about it/do differently?"  For me, the gentleness is such a blessing!  Bit by bit I am believing that I can make up my mind to be joyous - and keep learning "better ways" as I go along.  The second piece is that recently I've had experiences of the deep, inner sparkle growing brighter and brighter.  Being enthused about life.  Molly Gordon mentioned to be recently "You know, Shawn, sparkle is your gift and your responsibility."  I love the way that resonates so deeply inside me, so that my heart and soul say "YES!".  That (or something like that) gets to be my touchstone.  

So, the Sparkle Class is on it's way! 

Living a full life

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Over the last six months, three of my dear friends have lost their spouses.  Each time, I've been shaken by it, but I guess this third one has felt like a real wake up call.  All the cliches apply:  Life is short; Life is precious; Don't take life for granted; etc.  I want to throw everything that does not matter aside and give my passion and purpose free reign.  How else will I manage to keep finding new levels of inner peace?  Each time I squelch a part of myself that exudes joy, I can feel a bit of my soul shriveling up.  I don't want to die an unlived life!!  I pray that I can keep tapping into this passionate part of myself and help others to do the same, so that our world thrives on the best of ourselves rather than the fear that seems to be running rampant.

Doing what you’re born to do

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I received a "you've got to see this" email from a friend.  She was absolutely right, even though at first glance, I was thinking "Oh, brother!  What is THIS?"   

Here is the link to an amazing video:

http://www.maniacworld.com/Phone-Salesman-Amazes-Crowd.html 

I'm not an opera fan and I don't have much appreciation for these talent shows, but I was so inspired by is this young man's talent (of course…he's THAT good), by some of the things he said (for example, that his singing has always been "his friend"), and that he followed his guidance to do what he knew he was meant to do.   

In the video I saw a seemingly ordinary young man blossom as he stepped in to his knowing of who he is, of what he carries, of his unique gift.  He is doing what he loves to do.  Although we may not have this particular talent, each of us does have some rare or precious gift…and the clue as to what it is will be in what we love - or what we've considered "our friend" throughout life's tough times.  I am so inspired by this "lumpy" young man having the audacity to say, "I sing opera" despite the disdainful looks of the judges.  YES!

This is what I'd like to do - to say "Yes!" to my gifts and to help others say "Yes!" to theirs.  To learn to be audacious enough to say, this is my gift, this is what I love to do!  As I'd mentioned to a friend a while ago, to be able to say, "Yes, I'm weird.  Isn't it wonderful?!!"  What freedom there is in that!  Here is a path to inner peace - to be free to be ourselves, fully, completely, audaciously! 

Shaken, Not Stirred

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I fell in love with Sean Connery when I was about five.  Not, as you might imagine, given the title of this post, as James Bond, but as Michael McBride Connery in Darby O'Gillin Darby O’Gill and the Little People, one of the first movies I remember seeing (after Sleeping Beauty, my age five favorite).  Please don’t consider this a recommendation of the movie, unless you are interested in seeing a very young, very handsome (in my opinion) Sean Connery.

Actually, Sean Connery has nothing to do with this post other than an opportunity for me to reminisce about being little, experiencing a "first crush." Oh, and being able to see WHY I had that experience in the first place.  My goodness, he was handsome!   Okay, okay, back to  "reality."  What “Shaken, Not Stirred” really has to do with is the process I feel like I’m going through.  You know those times of growth that feel like your very foundations are being rattled rather than life being gently stirred?  Yep, this is one of those shaken times.  Fortunately, I think I’m learning that being shaken in this sense isn’t necessarily bad.  Even that the unsettling isn’t bad, just another opportunity to learn a new sense of balance, to embrace the uncertainty.  Part of my recent teachings have been around the idea of choice, of being able to step into a new choice at any time.  If, indeed, we are new creations in every moment, this unsettling and regaining of balance is really just part of the process.  So, I may as well get used to it – and learn to enjoy the ride, including the spills I take!  (Aaacck!)

Inquiry

Two, actually:

Just for fun, who was YOUR first crush?

Are you being shaken?  Stirred?  Osterized?  In what way(s)?  How are you dealing with it? 

Stepping into our bigger selves

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In a recent class discussing living a full life, my instructor asked us to go into our hearts and see (or hear or feel) what our deepest heart would long to have written on our gravestone.  (It wasn't as morbid as it might sound, honest!)  Mine went something like, "Loved God and shared that love with all her heart, soul, and being."  When each of us had the opportunity to discuss our epitaph - and to feel what our lives would be like if what we'd written had come to fruition, I was filled with incredible joy and the excitement of possibility…like the windows of possibility were being thrown open.  Dr. Laird suggested that I not just look at the window, yearning for those possibilities, but rather take a chance and step through those openings.  These images, he said, were Divine images, showing me as a new creation - don't hold back…step in to this new creation of someone who is, basically, for me, a "fool for God."  I'm reminded of the near-ecstacy I felt reading of Saint Elizabeth who "loved Jesus to distraction."  So often, I feel I just want to chuck all my pretenses and just say "yes" to Divine guidance…to be that fool for God.  What are my options?  I can keep playing safer…looking "good"/normal/mainstream on the outside.   I'll stay relatively safe…unfortunately, safe hasn't been all it's cracked up to be, at least not for me.  If I want to live this rich, juicy life, time's a'wastin'.  Let me be the quirky, joyous, irrepressible creation that makes me feel fabulous!

Remember when…

Filed Under Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone, Success | 2 Comments

Over the last several months, I’ve been enchanted by the idea and experience of “sparkle.”  It sends me back joyous childto being about four or five, when I just loved being myself.  I hadn’t had teachers reprimand me for always wanting to do show and tell.  I hadn’t yet gotten my first (humiliating) birthday spanking in front of my classroom.  Whether or not I did actually sparkle at that age, I don’t know, but what I do know is that when I remember (a full-body remembering) being that age, the feeling that comes over me is a sense of sparkling from within.  And when I feel like I’m sparkling, I am happy, joyous.  I have a sense of being all I need to be.  Like having God’s Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.  And with THAT approval, I’m good to go!

Personally, I love the idea of sparkle and sparkling.  Still being in touch with that young, enthusiastic, joyous part of me is one of my greatest blessings.  I think that anyone who gets in touch with their sparkle is going to be better off forlittle girl sparkling having done so.  Frankly, I can’t quite understand why not everyone relates to “sparkling” or wanting to sparkle, but they don’t.   And I’ve found myself thinking I should  “dim” my sparkle (you know, change the wording, eliminate the word sparkle), to accommodate those who aren’t raving sparkle fans, but my sparkle joy keeps insisting on being experienced.  So, if my deepest self refuses to dim my love of sparkle to appease those who can’t relate to sparkling, I guess I’ll follow that. And for those who do relate to the idea of sparkling…I say let’s set the world ablaze with our sparkle!   

Inquiry

Do you relate to inner sparkle?  In what way or ways? Do you not relate to sparkle?  Why is that?

Photos:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/myblueeyeguy/188576489/

            http://www.flickr.com/photos/beija-flor/5125391/  

Regaining balance after a leap

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 For all my enthusiasm about putting new learnings into practice, one thing I hadn't taken into consideration is that, for me, I really need to periodically take time to integrate the new learnings, expansions, etc.  I've been so excited about "moving forward" and taking new actions…some of which were pretty bold expansions of my comfort zone…that I hadn't taken much time to adjust.  It hit me this weekend, after venturing to beautiful Lake Tahoe to take part in a retreat, that I've been experiencing so many shifts that all of a sudden (or so it seems) I was feeling very unsteady.  Who am I now?  Where am I standing?  Identifying where I am and where I'm going is one of my "coaching strategies" - and I wasn't doing it!  

One of the "blessings" of this is realizing, experiencing the fact that my emotions can be great guideposts.  After all the enthusiasm, suddenly I was feeling cranky, uncertain, sick to my stomach.  Rather than going to my usual, "what's wrong?" I was able to ask myself, "what are these feelings telling me?"  And I kept seeing the many bold actions I'd taken in the last month that dramatically expanded my comfort zone (going on a retreat where I knew almost no one and presenting my Speaking Circle work there were probably the "last straws").  It's a great reminder for me to put into practice more of my recent learnings - to pause and breathe(!), adjust as necessary, and then continue.  In the past, the "what's wrong?" would have stopped me, now it doesn't have to!  YAY!  I can feel my way along this path.  Sometimes, I will be able to leap and bound, and sometimes I'll inch along.  And I can embrace both ways as just right for the moment!

A great post about expanding one's comfort zone in smaller increments was on Edward Mills site:

http://www.evolvingtimes.com/2007/09/51-ways-to-expand-your-comfort-zone.htm 

I'd love to hear about other comfort zone expanders!

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