ch ch ch changes

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Changes are exciting! And nerve-wracking. And frustrating. And messy. Why do I always forget that it’s going to get messy before it’s done? Or that I’ll want to give up. O me of little faith!

Living a full life

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Over the last six months, three of my dear friends have lost their spouses.  Each time, I've been shaken by it, but I guess this third one has felt like a real wake up call.  All the cliches apply:  Life is short; Life is precious; Don't take life for granted; etc.  I want to throw everything that does not matter aside and give my passion and purpose free reign.  How else will I manage to keep finding new levels of inner peace?  Each time I squelch a part of myself that exudes joy, I can feel a bit of my soul shriveling up.  I don't want to die an unlived life!!  I pray that I can keep tapping into this passionate part of myself and help others to do the same, so that our world thrives on the best of ourselves rather than the fear that seems to be running rampant.

Tantrums

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Aaack!  The shaking continues.  I returned from our Death Valley adventure to find myself in a technological nightmare.  Okay, that’s a little dramatic – but it seemed like a nightmare to discover my email not working – no sending, nostuck in the mud receiving.  Usually that wouldn’t be THAT big a deal, but I’d sent out some important correspondence before I left and was expecting some in return.  Wasn’t there.  Couldn’t find it.  Couldn’t figure out where it was, much less how to get it.  Missed a meeting.  Then the internet clouds parted and I was bombarded with all my missed email, plus a lot of junk.  Found out I’d lost a client because didn’t respond right away.  Found out a “big name” guest speaker cancelled a week before the event we’d been promoting heavily and we didn’t have anyone else lined up.  That was it.  I’d had enough.  I jumped from frustrated to “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” to “I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!” to “I MAY AS WELL JUST GIVE UP!” in seconds flat.  Thankfully, I had a session with one of my healing coach/mentors, James Keeley, who let me rant for a full twenty minutes.  I thought I was done at 10, but nooooo, I just needed a breath.  I ranted.  I raved.  I whined.  I cried.  I'M STUCK and THERE'S NO HOPE FOR ME!  

“Are you complete?” he said.  Spent, I finally said “yes.”  

“So, bring compassion to that place that wants to just give up, the place that needs support and caring.”  After a minute or two of this receiving of compassion, he asked, “From this place, now, will you give up or get up?”  Great question.  Changed my perspective immediately.  Had I heard stuff like that before?  Yep.  A bunch of times.  What was different about this time?  Haven’t a clue, but somehow it got “into my bones” and, for now, seems to have made a huge difference.  I’m getting up.  And I’m jazzed.

“Adversity introduces us to the stuff that we buy into unconsciously.”  I've been a coach for several years and on a deeply spiritual path and this tantrum still needed to happen.  I thought I should have been beyond this, to be SOOO much nearer enlightenment.  But clearly, this stuff still needed to be questioned, cleaned, let go of.  So, again, I get to see a reason for embracing what I perceive as difficulties and finding the gems in them.  They really are here for my benefit!  Aaack!  What a trip this life is!  How fascinating the trials, the shaking necessary, to reach inner peace. 

Doing what you’re born to do

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Yesterday, I received a "you've got to see this" email from a friend.  She was absolutely right, even though at first glance, I was thinking "Oh, brother!  What is THIS?"   

Here is the link to an amazing video:

http://www.maniacworld.com/Phone-Salesman-Amazes-Crowd.html 

I'm not an opera fan and I don't have much appreciation for these talent shows, but I was so inspired by is this young man's talent (of course…he's THAT good), by some of the things he said (for example, that his singing has always been "his friend"), and that he followed his guidance to do what he knew he was meant to do.   

In the video I saw a seemingly ordinary young man blossom as he stepped in to his knowing of who he is, of what he carries, of his unique gift.  He is doing what he loves to do.  Although we may not have this particular talent, each of us does have some rare or precious gift…and the clue as to what it is will be in what we love - or what we've considered "our friend" throughout life's tough times.  I am so inspired by this "lumpy" young man having the audacity to say, "I sing opera" despite the disdainful looks of the judges.  YES!

This is what I'd like to do - to say "Yes!" to my gifts and to help others say "Yes!" to theirs.  To learn to be audacious enough to say, this is my gift, this is what I love to do!  As I'd mentioned to a friend a while ago, to be able to say, "Yes, I'm weird.  Isn't it wonderful?!!"  What freedom there is in that!  Here is a path to inner peace - to be free to be ourselves, fully, completely, audaciously! 

Shaken, Not Stirred

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I fell in love with Sean Connery when I was about five.  Not, as you might imagine, given the title of this post, as James Bond, but as Michael McBride Connery in Darby O'Gillin Darby O’Gill and the Little People, one of the first movies I remember seeing (after Sleeping Beauty, my age five favorite).  Please don’t consider this a recommendation of the movie, unless you are interested in seeing a very young, very handsome (in my opinion) Sean Connery.

Actually, Sean Connery has nothing to do with this post other than an opportunity for me to reminisce about being little, experiencing a "first crush." Oh, and being able to see WHY I had that experience in the first place.  My goodness, he was handsome!   Okay, okay, back to  "reality."  What “Shaken, Not Stirred” really has to do with is the process I feel like I’m going through.  You know those times of growth that feel like your very foundations are being rattled rather than life being gently stirred?  Yep, this is one of those shaken times.  Fortunately, I think I’m learning that being shaken in this sense isn’t necessarily bad.  Even that the unsettling isn’t bad, just another opportunity to learn a new sense of balance, to embrace the uncertainty.  Part of my recent teachings have been around the idea of choice, of being able to step into a new choice at any time.  If, indeed, we are new creations in every moment, this unsettling and regaining of balance is really just part of the process.  So, I may as well get used to it – and learn to enjoy the ride, including the spills I take!  (Aaacck!)

Inquiry

Two, actually:

Just for fun, who was YOUR first crush?

Are you being shaken?  Stirred?  Osterized?  In what way(s)?  How are you dealing with it? 

Regaining balance after a leap

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 For all my enthusiasm about putting new learnings into practice, one thing I hadn't taken into consideration is that, for me, I really need to periodically take time to integrate the new learnings, expansions, etc.  I've been so excited about "moving forward" and taking new actions…some of which were pretty bold expansions of my comfort zone…that I hadn't taken much time to adjust.  It hit me this weekend, after venturing to beautiful Lake Tahoe to take part in a retreat, that I've been experiencing so many shifts that all of a sudden (or so it seems) I was feeling very unsteady.  Who am I now?  Where am I standing?  Identifying where I am and where I'm going is one of my "coaching strategies" - and I wasn't doing it!  

One of the "blessings" of this is realizing, experiencing the fact that my emotions can be great guideposts.  After all the enthusiasm, suddenly I was feeling cranky, uncertain, sick to my stomach.  Rather than going to my usual, "what's wrong?" I was able to ask myself, "what are these feelings telling me?"  And I kept seeing the many bold actions I'd taken in the last month that dramatically expanded my comfort zone (going on a retreat where I knew almost no one and presenting my Speaking Circle work there were probably the "last straws").  It's a great reminder for me to put into practice more of my recent learnings - to pause and breathe(!), adjust as necessary, and then continue.  In the past, the "what's wrong?" would have stopped me, now it doesn't have to!  YAY!  I can feel my way along this path.  Sometimes, I will be able to leap and bound, and sometimes I'll inch along.  And I can embrace both ways as just right for the moment!

A great post about expanding one's comfort zone in smaller increments was on Edward Mills site:

http://www.evolvingtimes.com/2007/09/51-ways-to-expand-your-comfort-zone.htm 

I'd love to hear about other comfort zone expanders!