Life as an exploration

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I think I should have my life all figured out by now. I am in my fifties, after all… older than my new doctor. Omigosh. How did THAT happen? And when?
I never thought my life would be so much trial-and-error. I guess I thought it was going to be (or at least it was supposed to be) try-and-be-very-good-right-away. In my dreams…like the one where the I meet this handsome, kind, intelligent, spiritual, rich guy who adores me and we live happily ever after. Yeah, that one.

Life Lab

So, waking up seems to mean that you accept that there’s a lot of experimenting and trying things out. This is your Life Lab. What works here? What is it you DO want? Eeeew! That’s not what you were expecting! What’s next? And realizing nothing is WRONG, it really is just not the outcome you’d hoped for. So, what IS next?

What’s Next?

Just received my copy of Style Statement by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. I am excited about delving into this book, probably because when I first heard Carrie McCarthy speak about people being “thirsty for knowing themselves” I thought, here’s a woman after my own heart. The book seems to offer some great questions for self-discovery, and I’m jazzed about the process! McCarthy & LaPorte write,

“We rarely think twice about what we’re attracted to. But what floats our boat - and why - is the zillion-dollar question.”

Inquiry

What do you love - and why?

Life with more passion

Filed Under Joyous Living, Stretching the comfort zone, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

Do you want more passion in your life? More joy, more enthusiasm? What do you think is stopping the flow of these in your life?

I’m going to hazard a guess. If your life lacks passion and juice, it’s probably because you’re playing it safe, living in your comfort zone, even if it’s not pleasant. Remember that old saying, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t? We go around thinking, oh, this isn’t great, but “out there” could be worse! So, if you really do want to enjoy your life more, you’re likely going to have to get out of what you perceive as your comfy little world. You have to ask yourself: How comfortable is my comfort zone, really? It may feel safe at one level, but, if you go a little deeper or look from a broader perspective, is your comfort zone really healthfully comfortable? Comfort is great for shoes and waistbands, not so much for the evolution and growth of the soul.

So, we have a choice to stay “safe” or to venture out from our comfort zone. If we choose to venture out, we’re bound to meet resistance early on. In her book, Fearless Living, Rhonda Britten wrote, “Fear is the gatekeeper of your comfort zone.” Fear is going to try to talk you out of leaving your nice, cozy little box, reminding you of all the dangers you’ll face: the missteps, the disapproval, the uncertainty, the discomfort, etc. And some of those may actually happen. We just have to go back to what we want more - perceived comfort or living with more passion.

Do you say “yes” to more passion, more joy in your life? Is there a little part of you wanting to rock the boat a bit? To make some waves? To take a stand for yourself?

Where do you want to start? Where do you feel like the comfort zone just isn’t working any more? Let’s go out and rouse our own rabble! We deserve it!

What’s mine to do

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle | Leave a Comment

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.
- Henry Ford

Have you ever found something you were really passionate about…a thought or idea that you knew was “yours” to build on, even though it might seem unlikely to others? I’ve come, grudgingly, to realize the idea of inner sparkle is “mine.” Being a fairly serious sort much of the time, this sparkle idea often seems unlikely to me, let alone others to whom this gift hasn’t been given. For months, I’ve really tried to put it aside, pretend it isn’t there, get on to more serious subjects…important subjects. Railing at God that He must have something more important for me to be working on than (aack!) sparkle. Yet the railing does little good, and for my own sanity, I work to investigate my negative thoughts and obstacles to seeing sparkle as something not only valid, but valuable to many people, perhaps even key to living a more joyous and productive life. Couldn’t that thought be just as true?

One of the hiccups is that the word sparkle has the connotation of “bling” but that’s not the kind of sparkle I’m talking about. I’m talking enthusiasm and joy, awe and wonder,204545936_fa331c0bb0_m.jpg appreciation and gratitude for this amazing life.  Letting ourselves fill with those qualities. Fill to overflowing, so that they overflow and send sparkle on to the next person. I smile when I think of those people I’ve seen who are our natural sparklers. People can’t help but lightening up around those kinds of folks. Maybe it’s that they strike something within us that has been covered over and now gets a chance to shine. I think it’s time that more sparkle does happen. More light, more inner peace, more joy, more hope. With this inner sparkle, this enthusiasm, our hopes and dreams may shine to the stars. Do I want to live like that? Do I find that valuable? Do I want to be filled with awe and wonder and enthusiasm? Uhhhhh, yeah.

What would your life be like with more inner sparkle, more enthusiasm? What would you be up to? What makes your heart smile? Where and how can you find more of that?

photo: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/60/204545936_fa331c0bb0_m.jpg

ch ch ch changes

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Changes are exciting! And nerve-wracking. And frustrating. And messy. Why do I always forget that it’s going to get messy before it’s done? Or that I’ll want to give up. O me of little faith!

What is calling you out of hiding?

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle | 1 Comment

As a part of starting a new year, I am in the process of changing many things. Over the last year, I’ve recognized that my work has been changing, taking on a slightly different theme from the one I’d originally started with. I noticed I hadn’t been using my old cards for some time because they no longer “felt right.” So, several months ago, I began working with a long-term friend of mine, Billy Hill , to remodel my logo. “Have you put it on anything besides stationery?” asked Kathy Mallary , somewhat bewildered by my “hiding out.” “Does it have some significance for you? Does it express you and your work is some meaningful way? If so, then let people know about it!” she said. So, here is my remodeled logo - which has tremendous significance for me! The dancer element was the one piece I didn’t want to lose, for a variety of reasons. First of all, even though I’ve not been trained as a dancer, my soul dances all the time, so a logo that expresses me and my work, would naturally include a dancer. This dancer, in particular, leaps with joy and abandon. Secondly, the body of the dancer is made up of a “J” (for Joyous) and an “L” (for Life) - for Joyous LifeWorks. The circle is significant, to me, because it represents being able to come out of one’s shell…sensing the opening and leaping for it…undaunted, and with joy!

Coming out of hiding, coming out from a shell. Exciting, invigorating, a little scary…just because it’s new. Does every new year hold this much hope? Probably, although, maybe because I am getting older, I’m wanting to make “sure” I live my life full out, so each day seems to hold more opportunity - or at least more opportunity that I’m willing to reach for.

Inquiry

What are you hoping to leap for this year? What is calling you out of “hiding?”

Progress

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A few months ago, I set a huge goal for myself - to have a clutter-free home by December 31st. I enlisted my husband’s support - to have it be a mutual goal, since his support is crucial to having this work, for a number of reasons. The clutter we accumulate (and whose it is, and who “should” clear it up) has been an ongoing issue for us and we don’t always handle it like partners. A big piece of the “issue” is that my hubby and I haven’t very effectively found a “home” for many of our things. For him, his stuff is straightforward - it goes in the garage or the shed (of course!). And his idea of making it all work is putting things away where it will work for him…”oh, I never use wrapping paper. I’ll stick it up in the rafters.” Mine (and ours) doesn’t seem as easy for me, so having his help and input - and doing it together - was important.

Shortly after setting the “clutter-free home” goal, I spent a couple of good chunks of time on the project. Felt like I made great headway. Didn’t think about the holidays creating more clutter. Lost some ground. Now we’re getting really close to the end of the year, Paul’s parents are coming to stay with us, and we’re nowhere near clutter-free. But we did work together over the weekend - in a way that felt like a partnership. We got a lot done, had some good laughs, and not too many cross words. I have most of my hair left. Plus, we still have time!

Being the perfectionist I can sometimes be, this is also a good opportunity evaluate what “clutter-free” really means to me. The images I have in my mind seem to be along the lines of “immaculate” - which seems a bit far-fetched. I wrote a while back that what I really wanted was to have “a place for everything” so that “10-minute pick-ups” would put the place back into order - and not a lot of “stuff” laying around ..no kitty toys next to the phone, no dog brushes on the entryway counter, counters and tables pretty clear, etc. And to be able to keep it up? Yowza!! Progress, not perfection! Good progress, too! (As long as I don’t compare myself with a Superwoman, like SAHMmysays - Stay at Home Moms - pretty clever and not just for Moms - this Grandma got some great ideas! She’s a crack-up (and a little scary, she’s so on top of things)! Don’t miss the GOYB Series !)

I’ve been around long enough to know about the correlation between outer clutter and inner clutter - duh! So, this clutter-clearing is obviously a pathway to my own inner clearing - and inner peace. It takes work and consistent upkeep and it doesn’t happen overnight. You want inner peace? You gotta become your own inner activist!

Inquiry

What actions are up for you to take to bring about more inner peace?

Choosing happiness

Filed Under Embracing uncertainty, Joyous Living, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."   Abraham LincolnLincoln

 When I read that quote, I imagine I can hear Mr. Lincoln saying those words in a down-to-earth, folksy manner.  Simple, matter-of-fact, this is how it is.  My heart really warms to it, even though it seems TOO simple.  I think we all want to be happy - I know I do, but making up our minds to be happy and sticking to it doesn't seem so simple.  Or maybe once we've gotten to the habit of feeling negative, it's just harder to make up our minds to change.  I was working with a client this morning who has pretty much determined that life isn't going to go well for her, and sure enough, that seems to be how things are turning out.  I think it takes a lot of fortitude to say "I'm going to change my attitude" when you can't see how to be any other way - and particularly if you don't know HOW to make that change.  I realize it's basically developing a new habit, just made a bit more challenging by the subtlety of the negative "voices" and the depth that they've been ingrained.

The biggest boosts for me have been to be more aware of my negative thinking sooner - and having an experience of feeling and behaving in another way.  Catching myself thinking self-defeating thoughts fairly early on - before they take root - is so beneficial.  For example, if I've just made a mistake, I'm able to catch myself right after the first (or second or third) self-berating thought and actually say something to myself along the lines of "Oh, sweetie, it's just a mistake.  It's okay.  What can we do about it/do differently?"  For me, the gentleness is such a blessing!  Bit by bit I am believing that I can make up my mind to be joyous - and keep learning "better ways" as I go along.  The second piece is that recently I've had experiences of the deep, inner sparkle growing brighter and brighter.  Being enthused about life.  Molly Gordon mentioned to be recently "You know, Shawn, sparkle is your gift and your responsibility."  I love the way that resonates so deeply inside me, so that my heart and soul say "YES!".  That (or something like that) gets to be my touchstone.  

So, the Sparkle Class is on it's way! 

Living a full life

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Over the last six months, three of my dear friends have lost their spouses.  Each time, I've been shaken by it, but I guess this third one has felt like a real wake up call.  All the cliches apply:  Life is short; Life is precious; Don't take life for granted; etc.  I want to throw everything that does not matter aside and give my passion and purpose free reign.  How else will I manage to keep finding new levels of inner peace?  Each time I squelch a part of myself that exudes joy, I can feel a bit of my soul shriveling up.  I don't want to die an unlived life!!  I pray that I can keep tapping into this passionate part of myself and help others to do the same, so that our world thrives on the best of ourselves rather than the fear that seems to be running rampant.

Doing what you’re born to do

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I received a "you've got to see this" email from a friend.  She was absolutely right, even though at first glance, I was thinking "Oh, brother!  What is THIS?"   

Here is the link to an amazing video:

http://www.maniacworld.com/Phone-Salesman-Amazes-Crowd.html 

I'm not an opera fan and I don't have much appreciation for these talent shows, but I was so inspired by is this young man's talent (of course…he's THAT good), by some of the things he said (for example, that his singing has always been "his friend"), and that he followed his guidance to do what he knew he was meant to do.   

In the video I saw a seemingly ordinary young man blossom as he stepped in to his knowing of who he is, of what he carries, of his unique gift.  He is doing what he loves to do.  Although we may not have this particular talent, each of us does have some rare or precious gift…and the clue as to what it is will be in what we love - or what we've considered "our friend" throughout life's tough times.  I am so inspired by this "lumpy" young man having the audacity to say, "I sing opera" despite the disdainful looks of the judges.  YES!

This is what I'd like to do - to say "Yes!" to my gifts and to help others say "Yes!" to theirs.  To learn to be audacious enough to say, this is my gift, this is what I love to do!  As I'd mentioned to a friend a while ago, to be able to say, "Yes, I'm weird.  Isn't it wonderful?!!"  What freedom there is in that!  Here is a path to inner peace - to be free to be ourselves, fully, completely, audaciously! 

Stepping into our bigger selves

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In a recent class discussing living a full life, my instructor asked us to go into our hearts and see (or hear or feel) what our deepest heart would long to have written on our gravestone.  (It wasn't as morbid as it might sound, honest!)  Mine went something like, "Loved God and shared that love with all her heart, soul, and being."  When each of us had the opportunity to discuss our epitaph - and to feel what our lives would be like if what we'd written had come to fruition, I was filled with incredible joy and the excitement of possibility…like the windows of possibility were being thrown open.  Dr. Laird suggested that I not just look at the window, yearning for those possibilities, but rather take a chance and step through those openings.  These images, he said, were Divine images, showing me as a new creation - don't hold back…step in to this new creation of someone who is, basically, for me, a "fool for God."  I'm reminded of the near-ecstacy I felt reading of Saint Elizabeth who "loved Jesus to distraction."  So often, I feel I just want to chuck all my pretenses and just say "yes" to Divine guidance…to be that fool for God.  What are my options?  I can keep playing safer…looking "good"/normal/mainstream on the outside.   I'll stay relatively safe…unfortunately, safe hasn't been all it's cracked up to be, at least not for me.  If I want to live this rich, juicy life, time's a'wastin'.  Let me be the quirky, joyous, irrepressible creation that makes me feel fabulous!

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