Being the Decisive Element

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Sometimes, like when I’m having a pity party, I forget that I’m not a “victim” of life’s circumstances. I forget that there are a lot of perspectives from which I could be viewing my life. Some of them may not be so pleasant, but a whole heck of a lot of them could show my life as pretty darn good. As much as I might be “enjoying” my whine, I can remember that I am, as Goethe calls it, the decisive element in the equation.

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated…

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What is required is a willingness to change a point of view AND, frankly, a bit of patience while developing the skill of shifting perspective. If we’ve been stuck in a rut of negative thinking, listening to “gremlins,” or whatever we may call it, shifting the thinking may take a while. Why? Because this thinking is likely deeply ingrained…much more so than you would ever guess.  And so much so that you probably rarely even notice it…until you’re feeling bummed or blue or out of sorts.  But, in that blueness, you’ve got a great opportunity! You can reclaim your power to make life miserable - or joyous! Or not - and isn’t that a point of power to be able to choose even that? Enjoy your whine when that’s what you’ve chosen!

Yes we can.

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Recently I received a thank you note from Barack and Michelle Obama.  You may have received one, as well.  I’m sure many people did.  Part of the note read,

“…This is our time…to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth…that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:  Yes We Can.”

Yes We Can.  That thought thrills me.  The realization that my president-elect wants me – us – to believe that – to stand in it – to live it – thrills me even more.  If we do live this, what can we create/develop/help happen?

What is it that you want for yourself, for your family, your community, country, world?  What do you hope for?  My hope is that we all become clearer about what we want, we recognize that we can, and we strive to make those dreams and hopes a reality.

It’s about hope

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I received this link in an email from a friend.  It made me teary (not a huge surprise) because, no matter what the outcome of our election today, I want for us to have hope.  To change our focus from fear and worry to HOPE, to possibility, to gratitude that we live in this country.

http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1103/p09s02-coop.html

Living music

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The Music
For sixty years I have been forgetful,
every minute, but not for a second
has this flowing toward me stopped or slowed.
I deserve nothing. Today I recognize
that I am the guest the mystics talk about.
I play this living music for my host.
Everything today is for the host.
- Rumi
What if we lived our lives as though we were the Living Music? Would we be living differently? What would be different?

Travel and appreciation

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Visiting Ireland. With my husband and my in-laws. What lessons I’m getting to learn!

On my first day here, I finished Jerry & Esther Hicks’ book, Ask and it is Given. I’ve been able to use the processes from the book several times each day. The basic premise of the processes I’ve used is that when you are feeling something that doesn’t feel good, you can “reach” for something that feels better. What’s great is that no matter where we are, we can reach for a thought, belief, or circumstance that feels better, and of course, one that we believe. I keep finding myself in frustrated and/or irritated mode. And in each moment, I can remember how grateful I am to be in Ireland with my husband. How grateful I am that I have a body that works as well as it does. How grateful I am that four and five generations ago my ancestors chose to leave Ireland for San Francisco! As beautiful as Ireland is, as wonderful as the people are, I’ve become so accustomed to wide roads, amenities I take for granted, etc. When all the things I’m grateful for come flooding in, it lifts me from being irritated. Amazing. Not that I’m not back there the next time my father in law does something that irks me, but it certainly is giving me more time to appreciate what is great in my life.

What’s mine to do

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle | Leave a Comment

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.
- Henry Ford

Have you ever found something you were really passionate about…a thought or idea that you knew was “yours” to build on, even though it might seem unlikely to others? I’ve come, grudgingly, to realize the idea of inner sparkle is “mine.” Being a fairly serious sort much of the time, this sparkle idea often seems unlikely to me, let alone others to whom this gift hasn’t been given. For months, I’ve really tried to put it aside, pretend it isn’t there, get on to more serious subjects…important subjects. Railing at God that He must have something more important for me to be working on than (aack!) sparkle. Yet the railing does little good, and for my own sanity, I work to investigate my negative thoughts and obstacles to seeing sparkle as something not only valid, but valuable to many people, perhaps even key to living a more joyous and productive life. Couldn’t that thought be just as true?

One of the hiccups is that the word sparkle has the connotation of “bling” but that’s not the kind of sparkle I’m talking about. I’m talking enthusiasm and joy, awe and wonder,204545936_fa331c0bb0_m.jpg appreciation and gratitude for this amazing life.  Letting ourselves fill with those qualities. Fill to overflowing, so that they overflow and send sparkle on to the next person. I smile when I think of those people I’ve seen who are our natural sparklers. People can’t help but lightening up around those kinds of folks. Maybe it’s that they strike something within us that has been covered over and now gets a chance to shine. I think it’s time that more sparkle does happen. More light, more inner peace, more joy, more hope. With this inner sparkle, this enthusiasm, our hopes and dreams may shine to the stars. Do I want to live like that? Do I find that valuable? Do I want to be filled with awe and wonder and enthusiasm? Uhhhhh, yeah.

What would your life be like with more inner sparkle, more enthusiasm? What would you be up to? What makes your heart smile? Where and how can you find more of that?

photo: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/60/204545936_fa331c0bb0_m.jpg

What is calling you out of hiding?

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle | 1 Comment

As a part of starting a new year, I am in the process of changing many things. Over the last year, I’ve recognized that my work has been changing, taking on a slightly different theme from the one I’d originally started with. I noticed I hadn’t been using my old cards for some time because they no longer “felt right.” So, several months ago, I began working with a long-term friend of mine, Billy Hill , to remodel my logo. “Have you put it on anything besides stationery?” asked Kathy Mallary , somewhat bewildered by my “hiding out.” “Does it have some significance for you? Does it express you and your work is some meaningful way? If so, then let people know about it!” she said. So, here is my remodeled logo - which has tremendous significance for me! The dancer element was the one piece I didn’t want to lose, for a variety of reasons. First of all, even though I’ve not been trained as a dancer, my soul dances all the time, so a logo that expresses me and my work, would naturally include a dancer. This dancer, in particular, leaps with joy and abandon. Secondly, the body of the dancer is made up of a “J” (for Joyous) and an “L” (for Life) - for Joyous LifeWorks. The circle is significant, to me, because it represents being able to come out of one’s shell…sensing the opening and leaping for it…undaunted, and with joy!

Coming out of hiding, coming out from a shell. Exciting, invigorating, a little scary…just because it’s new. Does every new year hold this much hope? Probably, although, maybe because I am getting older, I’m wanting to make “sure” I live my life full out, so each day seems to hold more opportunity - or at least more opportunity that I’m willing to reach for.

Inquiry

What are you hoping to leap for this year? What is calling you out of “hiding?”

Drowning in Thanks

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It's Thanksgiving week here in the United States.  Most of us are so blessed, yet it's so easy to take so much for granted.  Even though I have so much, I occasionally find myself whining.  How is that possible?  In some ways, I think I succumb to that Deadly Sin - greed!  (or materialism)  It's so rampant, it seems normal.  There's always the next "big thing" to come along.  

A while back Adam Kayce suggested rather than trying to "root out" problem issues, sometimes it's better to drown them with the good stuff.  Actually, that may not have been exactly what he said, but that was how I heard it!!   So, this week of Thanksgiving seems as good a time as any to overwhelm my whining with some lists of gratitude!  Here goes (in no particular order):

1) the young maple tree in front of my office is adorned in beautiful leaves

2) I have an office

3) the weather has been beautiful

4) my spiritual path feeds my soul

5) my husband is a sweetheart (he's working on a handyman project for me right now)

6) I'm healthy

7) my son is healthy and relatively happy

8) my daughter-in-law is a gem

9) my grandchildren are healthy - and beautiful

10) I enjoy my work and the people I work with 

 boy, this list could really go on…

Inquiry

What are you grateful for?  Do you have a gratitude practice?  Can you look around you - even in challenging situations - and find something to be grateful for?

Sending you blessings and best wishes for this Thanksgiving week! 

Living a full life

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Over the last six months, three of my dear friends have lost their spouses.  Each time, I've been shaken by it, but I guess this third one has felt like a real wake up call.  All the cliches apply:  Life is short; Life is precious; Don't take life for granted; etc.  I want to throw everything that does not matter aside and give my passion and purpose free reign.  How else will I manage to keep finding new levels of inner peace?  Each time I squelch a part of myself that exudes joy, I can feel a bit of my soul shriveling up.  I don't want to die an unlived life!!  I pray that I can keep tapping into this passionate part of myself and help others to do the same, so that our world thrives on the best of ourselves rather than the fear that seems to be running rampant.

Tantrums

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Aaack!  The shaking continues.  I returned from our Death Valley adventure to find myself in a technological nightmare.  Okay, that’s a little dramatic – but it seemed like a nightmare to discover my email not working – no sending, nostuck in the mud receiving.  Usually that wouldn’t be THAT big a deal, but I’d sent out some important correspondence before I left and was expecting some in return.  Wasn’t there.  Couldn’t find it.  Couldn’t figure out where it was, much less how to get it.  Missed a meeting.  Then the internet clouds parted and I was bombarded with all my missed email, plus a lot of junk.  Found out I’d lost a client because didn’t respond right away.  Found out a “big name” guest speaker cancelled a week before the event we’d been promoting heavily and we didn’t have anyone else lined up.  That was it.  I’d had enough.  I jumped from frustrated to “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” to “I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!” to “I MAY AS WELL JUST GIVE UP!” in seconds flat.  Thankfully, I had a session with one of my healing coach/mentors, James Keeley, who let me rant for a full twenty minutes.  I thought I was done at 10, but nooooo, I just needed a breath.  I ranted.  I raved.  I whined.  I cried.  I'M STUCK and THERE'S NO HOPE FOR ME!  

“Are you complete?” he said.  Spent, I finally said “yes.”  

“So, bring compassion to that place that wants to just give up, the place that needs support and caring.”  After a minute or two of this receiving of compassion, he asked, “From this place, now, will you give up or get up?”  Great question.  Changed my perspective immediately.  Had I heard stuff like that before?  Yep.  A bunch of times.  What was different about this time?  Haven’t a clue, but somehow it got “into my bones” and, for now, seems to have made a huge difference.  I’m getting up.  And I’m jazzed.

“Adversity introduces us to the stuff that we buy into unconsciously.”  I've been a coach for several years and on a deeply spiritual path and this tantrum still needed to happen.  I thought I should have been beyond this, to be SOOO much nearer enlightenment.  But clearly, this stuff still needed to be questioned, cleaned, let go of.  So, again, I get to see a reason for embracing what I perceive as difficulties and finding the gems in them.  They really are here for my benefit!  Aaack!  What a trip this life is!  How fascinating the trials, the shaking necessary, to reach inner peace. 

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