Life as an exploration

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Embracing uncertainty, Joyous Living | Leave a Comment

I think I should have my life all figured out by now. I am in my fifties, after all… older than my new doctor. Omigosh. How did THAT happen? And when?
I never thought my life would be so much trial-and-error. I guess I thought it was going to be (or at least it was supposed to be) try-and-be-very-good-right-away. In my dreams…like the one where the I meet this handsome, kind, intelligent, spiritual, rich guy who adores me and we live happily ever after. Yeah, that one.

Life Lab

So, waking up seems to mean that you accept that there’s a lot of experimenting and trying things out. This is your Life Lab. What works here? What is it you DO want? Eeeew! That’s not what you were expecting! What’s next? And realizing nothing is WRONG, it really is just not the outcome you’d hoped for. So, what IS next?

What’s Next?

Just received my copy of Style Statement by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. I am excited about delving into this book, probably because when I first heard Carrie McCarthy speak about people being “thirsty for knowing themselves” I thought, here’s a woman after my own heart. The book seems to offer some great questions for self-discovery, and I’m jazzed about the process! McCarthy & LaPorte write,

“We rarely think twice about what we’re attracted to. But what floats our boat - and why - is the zillion-dollar question.”

Inquiry

What do you love - and why?

What is calling you out of hiding?

Filed Under Authenticity, Coming out of hiding, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Sparkle | 1 Comment

As a part of starting a new year, I am in the process of changing many things. Over the last year, I’ve recognized that my work has been changing, taking on a slightly different theme from the one I’d originally started with. I noticed I hadn’t been using my old cards for some time because they no longer “felt right.” So, several months ago, I began working with a long-term friend of mine, Billy Hill , to remodel my logo. “Have you put it on anything besides stationery?” asked Kathy Mallary , somewhat bewildered by my “hiding out.” “Does it have some significance for you? Does it express you and your work is some meaningful way? If so, then let people know about it!” she said. So, here is my remodeled logo - which has tremendous significance for me! The dancer element was the one piece I didn’t want to lose, for a variety of reasons. First of all, even though I’ve not been trained as a dancer, my soul dances all the time, so a logo that expresses me and my work, would naturally include a dancer. This dancer, in particular, leaps with joy and abandon. Secondly, the body of the dancer is made up of a “J” (for Joyous) and an “L” (for Life) - for Joyous LifeWorks. The circle is significant, to me, because it represents being able to come out of one’s shell…sensing the opening and leaping for it…undaunted, and with joy!

Coming out of hiding, coming out from a shell. Exciting, invigorating, a little scary…just because it’s new. Does every new year hold this much hope? Probably, although, maybe because I am getting older, I’m wanting to make “sure” I live my life full out, so each day seems to hold more opportunity - or at least more opportunity that I’m willing to reach for.

Inquiry

What are you hoping to leap for this year? What is calling you out of “hiding?”

Choosing happiness

Filed Under Embracing uncertainty, Joyous Living, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."   Abraham LincolnLincoln

 When I read that quote, I imagine I can hear Mr. Lincoln saying those words in a down-to-earth, folksy manner.  Simple, matter-of-fact, this is how it is.  My heart really warms to it, even though it seems TOO simple.  I think we all want to be happy - I know I do, but making up our minds to be happy and sticking to it doesn't seem so simple.  Or maybe once we've gotten to the habit of feeling negative, it's just harder to make up our minds to change.  I was working with a client this morning who has pretty much determined that life isn't going to go well for her, and sure enough, that seems to be how things are turning out.  I think it takes a lot of fortitude to say "I'm going to change my attitude" when you can't see how to be any other way - and particularly if you don't know HOW to make that change.  I realize it's basically developing a new habit, just made a bit more challenging by the subtlety of the negative "voices" and the depth that they've been ingrained.

The biggest boosts for me have been to be more aware of my negative thinking sooner - and having an experience of feeling and behaving in another way.  Catching myself thinking self-defeating thoughts fairly early on - before they take root - is so beneficial.  For example, if I've just made a mistake, I'm able to catch myself right after the first (or second or third) self-berating thought and actually say something to myself along the lines of "Oh, sweetie, it's just a mistake.  It's okay.  What can we do about it/do differently?"  For me, the gentleness is such a blessing!  Bit by bit I am believing that I can make up my mind to be joyous - and keep learning "better ways" as I go along.  The second piece is that recently I've had experiences of the deep, inner sparkle growing brighter and brighter.  Being enthused about life.  Molly Gordon mentioned to be recently "You know, Shawn, sparkle is your gift and your responsibility."  I love the way that resonates so deeply inside me, so that my heart and soul say "YES!".  That (or something like that) gets to be my touchstone.  

So, the Sparkle Class is on it's way! 

Living a full life

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Over the last six months, three of my dear friends have lost their spouses.  Each time, I've been shaken by it, but I guess this third one has felt like a real wake up call.  All the cliches apply:  Life is short; Life is precious; Don't take life for granted; etc.  I want to throw everything that does not matter aside and give my passion and purpose free reign.  How else will I manage to keep finding new levels of inner peace?  Each time I squelch a part of myself that exudes joy, I can feel a bit of my soul shriveling up.  I don't want to die an unlived life!!  I pray that I can keep tapping into this passionate part of myself and help others to do the same, so that our world thrives on the best of ourselves rather than the fear that seems to be running rampant.

Doing what you’re born to do

Filed Under Authenticity, Embracing uncertainty, Freedom Challenge, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

Yesterday, I received a "you've got to see this" email from a friend.  She was absolutely right, even though at first glance, I was thinking "Oh, brother!  What is THIS?"   

Here is the link to an amazing video:

http://www.maniacworld.com/Phone-Salesman-Amazes-Crowd.html 

I'm not an opera fan and I don't have much appreciation for these talent shows, but I was so inspired by is this young man's talent (of course…he's THAT good), by some of the things he said (for example, that his singing has always been "his friend"), and that he followed his guidance to do what he knew he was meant to do.   

In the video I saw a seemingly ordinary young man blossom as he stepped in to his knowing of who he is, of what he carries, of his unique gift.  He is doing what he loves to do.  Although we may not have this particular talent, each of us does have some rare or precious gift…and the clue as to what it is will be in what we love - or what we've considered "our friend" throughout life's tough times.  I am so inspired by this "lumpy" young man having the audacity to say, "I sing opera" despite the disdainful looks of the judges.  YES!

This is what I'd like to do - to say "Yes!" to my gifts and to help others say "Yes!" to theirs.  To learn to be audacious enough to say, this is my gift, this is what I love to do!  As I'd mentioned to a friend a while ago, to be able to say, "Yes, I'm weird.  Isn't it wonderful?!!"  What freedom there is in that!  Here is a path to inner peace - to be free to be ourselves, fully, completely, audaciously! 

Shaken, Not Stirred

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I fell in love with Sean Connery when I was about five.  Not, as you might imagine, given the title of this post, as James Bond, but as Michael McBride Connery in Darby O'Gillin Darby O’Gill and the Little People, one of the first movies I remember seeing (after Sleeping Beauty, my age five favorite).  Please don’t consider this a recommendation of the movie, unless you are interested in seeing a very young, very handsome (in my opinion) Sean Connery.

Actually, Sean Connery has nothing to do with this post other than an opportunity for me to reminisce about being little, experiencing a "first crush." Oh, and being able to see WHY I had that experience in the first place.  My goodness, he was handsome!   Okay, okay, back to  "reality."  What “Shaken, Not Stirred” really has to do with is the process I feel like I’m going through.  You know those times of growth that feel like your very foundations are being rattled rather than life being gently stirred?  Yep, this is one of those shaken times.  Fortunately, I think I’m learning that being shaken in this sense isn’t necessarily bad.  Even that the unsettling isn’t bad, just another opportunity to learn a new sense of balance, to embrace the uncertainty.  Part of my recent teachings have been around the idea of choice, of being able to step into a new choice at any time.  If, indeed, we are new creations in every moment, this unsettling and regaining of balance is really just part of the process.  So, I may as well get used to it – and learn to enjoy the ride, including the spills I take!  (Aaacck!)

Inquiry

Two, actually:

Just for fun, who was YOUR first crush?

Are you being shaken?  Stirred?  Osterized?  In what way(s)?  How are you dealing with it? 

Regaining balance after a leap

Filed Under Embracing uncertainty, Gratitude, Joyous Living, Setbacks as opportunities, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

 For all my enthusiasm about putting new learnings into practice, one thing I hadn't taken into consideration is that, for me, I really need to periodically take time to integrate the new learnings, expansions, etc.  I've been so excited about "moving forward" and taking new actions…some of which were pretty bold expansions of my comfort zone…that I hadn't taken much time to adjust.  It hit me this weekend, after venturing to beautiful Lake Tahoe to take part in a retreat, that I've been experiencing so many shifts that all of a sudden (or so it seems) I was feeling very unsteady.  Who am I now?  Where am I standing?  Identifying where I am and where I'm going is one of my "coaching strategies" - and I wasn't doing it!  

One of the "blessings" of this is realizing, experiencing the fact that my emotions can be great guideposts.  After all the enthusiasm, suddenly I was feeling cranky, uncertain, sick to my stomach.  Rather than going to my usual, "what's wrong?" I was able to ask myself, "what are these feelings telling me?"  And I kept seeing the many bold actions I'd taken in the last month that dramatically expanded my comfort zone (going on a retreat where I knew almost no one and presenting my Speaking Circle work there were probably the "last straws").  It's a great reminder for me to put into practice more of my recent learnings - to pause and breathe(!), adjust as necessary, and then continue.  In the past, the "what's wrong?" would have stopped me, now it doesn't have to!  YAY!  I can feel my way along this path.  Sometimes, I will be able to leap and bound, and sometimes I'll inch along.  And I can embrace both ways as just right for the moment!

A great post about expanding one's comfort zone in smaller increments was on Edward Mills site:

http://www.evolvingtimes.com/2007/09/51-ways-to-expand-your-comfort-zone.htm 

I'd love to hear about other comfort zone expanders!