Progress

Filed Under Joyous Living | 1 Comment

A few months ago, I set a huge goal for myself - to have a clutter-free home by December 31st. I enlisted my husband’s support - to have it be a mutual goal, since his support is crucial to having this work, for a number of reasons. The clutter we accumulate (and whose it is, and who “should” clear it up) has been an ongoing issue for us and we don’t always handle it like partners. A big piece of the “issue” is that my hubby and I haven’t very effectively found a “home” for many of our things. For him, his stuff is straightforward - it goes in the garage or the shed (of course!). And his idea of making it all work is putting things away where it will work for him…”oh, I never use wrapping paper. I’ll stick it up in the rafters.” Mine (and ours) doesn’t seem as easy for me, so having his help and input - and doing it together - was important.

Shortly after setting the “clutter-free home” goal, I spent a couple of good chunks of time on the project. Felt like I made great headway. Didn’t think about the holidays creating more clutter. Lost some ground. Now we’re getting really close to the end of the year, Paul’s parents are coming to stay with us, and we’re nowhere near clutter-free. But we did work together over the weekend - in a way that felt like a partnership. We got a lot done, had some good laughs, and not too many cross words. I have most of my hair left. Plus, we still have time!

Being the perfectionist I can sometimes be, this is also a good opportunity evaluate what “clutter-free” really means to me. The images I have in my mind seem to be along the lines of “immaculate” - which seems a bit far-fetched. I wrote a while back that what I really wanted was to have “a place for everything” so that “10-minute pick-ups” would put the place back into order - and not a lot of “stuff” laying around ..no kitty toys next to the phone, no dog brushes on the entryway counter, counters and tables pretty clear, etc. And to be able to keep it up? Yowza!! Progress, not perfection! Good progress, too! (As long as I don’t compare myself with a Superwoman, like SAHMmysays - Stay at Home Moms - pretty clever and not just for Moms - this Grandma got some great ideas! She’s a crack-up (and a little scary, she’s so on top of things)! Don’t miss the GOYB Series !)

I’ve been around long enough to know about the correlation between outer clutter and inner clutter - duh! So, this clutter-clearing is obviously a pathway to my own inner clearing - and inner peace. It takes work and consistent upkeep and it doesn’t happen overnight. You want inner peace? You gotta become your own inner activist!

Inquiry

What actions are up for you to take to bring about more inner peace?

Choosing happiness

Filed Under Embracing uncertainty, Joyous Living, Sparkle, Stretching the comfort zone | Leave a Comment

"People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."   Abraham LincolnLincoln

 When I read that quote, I imagine I can hear Mr. Lincoln saying those words in a down-to-earth, folksy manner.  Simple, matter-of-fact, this is how it is.  My heart really warms to it, even though it seems TOO simple.  I think we all want to be happy - I know I do, but making up our minds to be happy and sticking to it doesn't seem so simple.  Or maybe once we've gotten to the habit of feeling negative, it's just harder to make up our minds to change.  I was working with a client this morning who has pretty much determined that life isn't going to go well for her, and sure enough, that seems to be how things are turning out.  I think it takes a lot of fortitude to say "I'm going to change my attitude" when you can't see how to be any other way - and particularly if you don't know HOW to make that change.  I realize it's basically developing a new habit, just made a bit more challenging by the subtlety of the negative "voices" and the depth that they've been ingrained.

The biggest boosts for me have been to be more aware of my negative thinking sooner - and having an experience of feeling and behaving in another way.  Catching myself thinking self-defeating thoughts fairly early on - before they take root - is so beneficial.  For example, if I've just made a mistake, I'm able to catch myself right after the first (or second or third) self-berating thought and actually say something to myself along the lines of "Oh, sweetie, it's just a mistake.  It's okay.  What can we do about it/do differently?"  For me, the gentleness is such a blessing!  Bit by bit I am believing that I can make up my mind to be joyous - and keep learning "better ways" as I go along.  The second piece is that recently I've had experiences of the deep, inner sparkle growing brighter and brighter.  Being enthused about life.  Molly Gordon mentioned to be recently "You know, Shawn, sparkle is your gift and your responsibility."  I love the way that resonates so deeply inside me, so that my heart and soul say "YES!".  That (or something like that) gets to be my touchstone.  

So, the Sparkle Class is on it's way!