Tantrums

Filed Under Gratitude, Setbacks as opportunities |

Aaack!  The shaking continues.  I returned from our Death Valley adventure to find myself in a technological nightmare.  Okay, that’s a little dramatic – but it seemed like a nightmare to discover my email not working – no sending, nostuck in the mud receiving.  Usually that wouldn’t be THAT big a deal, but I’d sent out some important correspondence before I left and was expecting some in return.  Wasn’t there.  Couldn’t find it.  Couldn’t figure out where it was, much less how to get it.  Missed a meeting.  Then the internet clouds parted and I was bombarded with all my missed email, plus a lot of junk.  Found out I’d lost a client because didn’t respond right away.  Found out a “big name” guest speaker cancelled a week before the event we’d been promoting heavily and we didn’t have anyone else lined up.  That was it.  I’d had enough.  I jumped from frustrated to “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” to “I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!” to “I MAY AS WELL JUST GIVE UP!” in seconds flat.  Thankfully, I had a session with one of my healing coach/mentors, James Keeley, who let me rant for a full twenty minutes.  I thought I was done at 10, but nooooo, I just needed a breath.  I ranted.  I raved.  I whined.  I cried.  I'M STUCK and THERE'S NO HOPE FOR ME!  

“Are you complete?” he said.  Spent, I finally said “yes.”  

“So, bring compassion to that place that wants to just give up, the place that needs support and caring.”  After a minute or two of this receiving of compassion, he asked, “From this place, now, will you give up or get up?”  Great question.  Changed my perspective immediately.  Had I heard stuff like that before?  Yep.  A bunch of times.  What was different about this time?  Haven’t a clue, but somehow it got “into my bones” and, for now, seems to have made a huge difference.  I’m getting up.  And I’m jazzed.

“Adversity introduces us to the stuff that we buy into unconsciously.”  I've been a coach for several years and on a deeply spiritual path and this tantrum still needed to happen.  I thought I should have been beyond this, to be SOOO much nearer enlightenment.  But clearly, this stuff still needed to be questioned, cleaned, let go of.  So, again, I get to see a reason for embracing what I perceive as difficulties and finding the gems in them.  They really are here for my benefit!  Aaack!  What a trip this life is!  How fascinating the trials, the shaking necessary, to reach inner peace. 


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